after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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