You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize