Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
