around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize