1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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