You really coming over, don't trick.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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