I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
