he looks like a really good dad on facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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