Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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