i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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