i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
