Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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