I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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