do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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