just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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