you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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