'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
