You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
