just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
