Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Operation Purity has been aborted
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
