i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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