Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
