i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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