do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize