cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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