you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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