Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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