so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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