Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
