it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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