we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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