she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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