dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
