Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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