sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
