Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize