Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
