i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
