Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
