So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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