sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize