I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
