She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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