I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
