I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
