I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
