She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I want to fling myself into the sun
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
