Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
