Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
