i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's always time for handjobs
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize