google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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