as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
