i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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