Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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