I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
