Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
