So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
