i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
