Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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