I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
